Thats exactly the point. We're talking about MICHAEL EFFING JACKSON man! Everyone who knows me, KNOWS im BEYONDa die hard fan. When I heard the new I took it so hard. I've grieved, I've mourned, I've sobbed, I've asked why? Words CANNOT express how I feel. However, if I had to use a metaphor to explain this emptiness in my chest it would be this: It feels like if superman was real and he saved the day all the time, the world looked up to him, children as well as adults of all ages loved him, and then all of a sudden... out of NO WHERE, he dies. My Hero.. My Superman, has passed away. I do not regret shedding a single tear for a man who has had more influence in my life than my father, nor am I going to say "no homo". I'm grown enough and definitely sure enough about my heterosexuality to say I LOVE him. Besides that Superman reference I really can't put my finger on the feeling I'm having right now. Nor the feeling I have now when I listen to "Human Nature". "Dame" Elizabeth Taylor, one of the worlds greatest actresses and MJ's true love, has formed the words I was looking for. God be with her, and I quote:
My heart...my mind...are broken. I loved Michael with all my soul and I can't imagine life without him. We had so much in common and we had such loving fun together. I was packing up my clothes to go to London for his opening when I heard the news. I still can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. It can't be so. He will live in my heart forever but it's not enough. My life feels so empty. I don't think anyone knew how muchwe loved each other. The purest most giving love I've ever known. Oh God! I'm going to miss him. I can't imagine life without him. But I guess with God's help I'll learn. I keep looking at the photo he gave me of himself which says, "To my true love Elizabeth, I love you forever." And I will love HIM forever.
U know, although my love for him faded as I grew older, I remember lovin him oh so much as a lil girl. When I saw him on TV my heart would flutter, I thought he was like the coolest dude! I loved his music, older songs and newer songs even when I was lil and I remember seeing THRILLER for the first time and being scared shitless. Sleepin with my light on and shit scared that the boogeyman was gonna get me. LoL. I found out and I didn't want to believe it, and I hoped that someone would tell me, that he made it, or he flatlined and came back, but no...didn't happen. On the way home they played, I wanna rock wit u...I wept. Almost as if I knew him personally. Sadly the media inspired me to think of him differently as I got older and I started to wonder about him and his appearance etc. I honestly started to look at him like he was just a mess. But when he died...although all the ways I grew to not care for him as I got older, I was taken back...to the days when I did love him, to the days when my eyes would light up when I saw him, when I LOVED MICHAEL and a big piece of me, of my life, of my childhood was just stolen from my soul. I cried like I'd known him forever and I really didn't. So my heart goes out to you on this one my mannn! Be strong! Michael is in a better place lookin down on us and wanting us to be strong! God Bless you man!
*sigh* where do I start?
U know, although my love for him faded as I grew older, I remember lovin him oh so much as a lil girl. When I saw him on TV my heart would flutter, I thought he was like the coolest dude! I loved his music, older songs and newer songs even when I was lil and I remember seeing THRILLER for the first time and being scared shitless. Sleepin with my light on and shit scared that the boogeyman was gonna get me. LoL. I found out and I didn't want to believe it, and I hoped that someone would tell me, that he made it, or he flatlined and came back, but no...didn't happen. On the way home they played, I wanna rock wit u...I wept. Almost as if I knew him personally. Sadly the media inspired me to think of him differently as I got older and I started to wonder about him and his appearance etc. I honestly started to look at him like he was just a mess. But when he died...although all the ways I grew to not care for him as I got older, I was taken back...to the days when I did love him, to the days when my eyes would light up when I saw him, when I LOVED MICHAEL and a big piece of me, of my life, of my childhood was just stolen from my soul. I cried like I'd known him forever and I really didn't. So my heart goes out to you on this one my mannn! Be strong! Michael is in a better place lookin down on us and wanting us to be strong! God Bless you man!
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